How to Build a Support System

On the road toward our goals—especially in the desperate stretches of spiritual wilderness—a strong support system can make all the difference. During setbacks and bad days, when doubt creeps in, one thing that has helped me is nurturing and building a network of support.

For me, this includes close friends, mentors, mentees, coaches, therapists, healthcare providers, and family—people who see me for who I am and who I’m becoming.

They lift me up. They listen. They offer feedback with kindness when I need it. They celebrate my wins and hold space for me when I struggle. They aren’t threatened by my growth because they have their own unique paths and passions.

They share similar values and worldviews, and they genuinely care—reaching out even when life gets busy. They show up in ways that feel good to me, making an effort to understand, to be patient, and to give me the benefit of the doubt.

When difficulties arise, they lean in rather than pull away. They know that relationships require effort, repair, and reciprocity. They know how to receive, but they also know that good relationships are a balance of giving and taking.

When you find people like this, nurture those connections like a garden. The more you pour in, the more you’ll receive. Because who we surround ourselves with matters—not just for our dreams, but for the way we move through life.

I am a life coach based in Vancouver, BC. I love helping my clients create a support network. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or are interested in working together.

#supportnetwork #buildingconnections #relationships #strogrelationships

Pink flower on a sunny deck

Who is Waiting in the Wings? Discovering Your True Self Beyond the Roles You Play

For as long as I can remember, I’ve played "the achiever." I threw myself into work, even as a child. I remember spending hours in my room, working away, only to emerge with my “achievements” in hand—a brilliant coping mechanism for getting the love I needed.

When love interests didn’t call, I dove headfirst into my next project, using work to distract me from the pain. Being an achiever had its perks, too: it attracted mentors who provided the nurturing I needed to thrive.

But lately, I’ve been asking myself—what’s the cost of this constant striving? Is it good for me to continually soldier myself to the door of exhaustion?

The Roles We Play

I’ve played other roles, too, like the doormat and the good girl. Anyone who’s ever been a doormat or a nice girl knows these roles can offer a version of safety. They help us avoid conflict, gain approval, or protect ourselves in vulnerable moments. But there’s a darker side—doormats and good girls are often susceptible to abuse.

At some point, these roles—achiever, doormat, and nice girl feel limited. They become exhausting performances, pulling us further away from our true selves.

When we stop and take stock, we may realize that we have spent so much time performing that we have lost touch with who we are. The questions loom large: Who am I? What do I want?

The Grief and Rage of Self-Discovery

Dismantling these roles is not for the faint of heart. We may feel earth-shattering grief for the person we could have been. We may feel rage at the years lost, the patterns we missed, the ways we played small to survive.

This process requires patience. It takes time, and the feelings come in waves: two steps forward, one step back. Compassion is key. We must be gentle with ourselves as we shed these old roles and step into something new.

Meeting Our True Selves

As we heal, someone remarkable begins to emerge. Slowly, we uncover our extraordinary inner understudy, waiting in the wings. This inner self exists far beyond the titles of soldier, doormat, or nice girl. She is limitless, one-of-a-kind, surprising, free, joyful, and ready to shine. She has been waiting patiently for us all along.

I am a life coach based in Vancouver, BC. I love helping people discover their authentic selves. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or are interested in working together.

#roles #authenticity #trueself #overachiever #doormat #nicegirl #goodgirl #compassion #growth #selfdiscovery

You Have a Unique Personality

Listening While the Call is Quiet

“The universe whispers until it screams, and happy people listen while the call is still quiet.”

– Brianna Wiest

The weeks leading up to Christmas often carry a frenetic energy. The colder weather, the rush to wrap up projects, the endless shopping lists—everything seems to demand our attention at once. It’s easy to find ourselves swept up in the urgency of it all.

We might sense an urge to slow down, a small, quiet voice gently nudging us to step back and recharge. But the world, with its relentless agenda, pulls us forward, demanding: Keep going, keep pushing.

Then, as it often happens, life intervenes. We drop a weight on our toe at the gym (see my picture below) wake up with a stiff neck after too many hours at a screen, or encounter something worse.

Suddenly, everything stops. We have no choice but to rest or pause. The body remembers as they say.

It can feel like the universe has gone from whispering to screaming, forcing us to finally pay attention. And we can’t help but reflect on how often we ignore those subtle signs—our inner guidance system urging us to listen, to care for ourselves.

For many of us, listening to that inner whisper doesn’t come naturally. We thrive on being busy, on the noisy momentum of deadlines and activities. But when we ignore the whispers, life has a way of sending louder signals.

Ancient wisdom across cultures reminds us to look inward, to pay attention to the quiet knowing inside us. Yet, in the rush of modern life, it’s so easy to forget.

As we move through this busy season, let’s remind ourselves to listen while the call is still quiet. It’s in those moments of stillness that we find the clarity and calm we need to truly show up for the people and things we care about most.

Is there something that your inner self has been whispering to you?

I am a life coach based in Vancouver, BC. I love helping people tune into their inner voices and deepest desires. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or are interested in working together.

#innerguidance #goinginward #relflection #selflove #positiveselftalk #lifecoach #listening #personal #development

Dropped a weight on my right toe and had no choice but to rest